Someone who was consistently dismissive of my feelings but always framed it as 'just being honest'. That's not honesty — that's unkindness with a justification attached. Huge difference.
Moving too fast, love bombing, needing to be together every single minute in the first three weeks. It felt incredible at the time. In hindsight the intensity was itself the warning sign.
How they talk about their exes. If every single person they've ever dated is described as crazy or a monster, that's very revealing information about their own self-awareness.
Constant criticism framed as jokes. When you say 'that actually hurt' and they respond with 'you're too sensitive' — that's the real flag. The joke isn't the problem, the response is.
Inconsistency between what they say and what they do consistently. Words are easy and everyone sounds good at the beginning. Patterns over weeks and months are what actually matter.
